It's such a cliche now, but the past year has been difficult. But it has been difficult for me for an entirely different reason than dealing with a worldwide pandemic. A year ago, I lost Tyra, my first love and friend for 16 years. I have previously talked about her in another post which you can read here. I have spent the last year mourning her and am still heartbroken. I don't really know how to put words to the pain that has consumed me.
I got her when I was still a young adult trying to figure out where I fit in the world. We moved cross country and back again. She was my constant companion, always there to comfort me when I was down. Tyra guided me to adulthood and even though she couldn't talk, she was there to listen to me ruminate on issues I was having. Always there to lend an ear.
I knew she was sick for about eight months before she passed. She had been diagnosed with chronic kidney disease which I had already known was a common affliction of older cats. We tried to treat her with special diet food but being her stubborn self, she refused to eat it. She was too smart to consume pills concealed in treats. In the last month of her life, she lost a lot of weight and in the end, she became so skinny and disoriented, I knew it was time to say goodbye.
Saying goodbye to Tyra was the second hardest thing I've ever done, the first being saying goodbye to my grandparents within hours of each other eight years before. Her passing was so peaceful and I felt no regret in letting her physical body go but the loss of her physical presence in my life has been extraordinarily painful.
I have been lost without her. How do I make life decisions without the white cat? I absolutely believe in reincarnation and spirits guiding us through life. There are times when I think I hear her in the house so I still talk to her asking for guidance. Everything in my house reminds me of her, especially her room. Yes, she was spoiled and crazy, so when I wasn't home, she spent her time in her own bedroom. I haven't changed or touched her room in a year. I go in there every once in awhile to find something but I can't change it. I miss seeing her sitting in the window, waiting for me to come home. I miss opening the door to let her out. I miss finding her curled up on a soft, comfy spot sleeping so peacefully. I miss having her fall asleep in my lap for extended periods of time, trapping me so I could only be present with her because I would hate to wake her.
I've spent a year trying to come up with the words so I can try to move on, not only with life but with Ohana Pets since she is the logo. I think it is time, it's time to continue growing Ohana Pets and making treats to feed our fellow furry friends. She loved to eat and try new things and I would let her even thought I knew I would probably have to clean up her barf later on.
We are working on some new treats for cats and for pocket pets so please come back and visit us to see what's new. You can see our current pet treats here.